It was about a year ago when several things happened to me. I failed out of school; I entertained thoughts of suicide and moved back home from my apartment in the city to live with my parents. About a week and a half after that my grandpa died. I started seeing a therapist and since last autumn I have been making fitful attempts at getting things “back on track.” In the course of the past year I’ve learned a lot about myself and at the same time very little. I wish I could articulate things better but there is so much at play that I really could not begin to describe everything that has happened here and now. I’m 21 now, and I’m living now with just my parents—my little brother just started his college career and lives in a dorm at his school and my older sister lives in an apartment nearby. There is no buffer between me and my mom and dad. This is very, very weird for me.
My hope is that this little blog will become a place where I can write—something I’ve always liked to do—consistently; venting and making sense of the past and present. Sorting out issues of friendship, love, school and other things that impact my life. I’d like to keep things honest and, man, am I banking on the anonymity of the almighty blogosphere as a place to let the happenings of my life disappear into the aether.
Tomorrow I begin a new semester at the community college out where I live. I’m taking some classes that I failed last spring. That was an ugly and unmotivated semester for sure. And I guess part of that had to do with me simply not having an answer to where I am going to go after that (both in the literal and figurative sense.) I have some semblance of an answer now, but the truth is, I really don’t know.
I really hope I can keep this thing regularly updated.
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